the liquid roller coaster

time swells and reaches

elusive, slippery to the touch

expanding beyond lifetimes.

a mountain

anticipates

the quick breath

of a moment!

today

I went for a walk in the snow.  I watered my plants.  I drank ginger tea.  I took a shower and a nap.  I devoured a bowl of arugula. These are the small victories of my life.  xx

NOW!

"I do not give, except to myself"

babuu

rhoda

Thank you to my most magical children.
 xo   

I am grateful

for taking me so far.  xo

I had another dream

that we were trees

the little things

Arugula and tangerines by the bowlful, humbolt fog goat cheese, and a man riding a bicycle with no seat.

a haircut

is in the works...

some notes from within

Oct 9 - Nov 14

 2010

Despite my desire to avoid repeating old patterns and mistakes, 
I have done just that and can't afford to go any deeper.  
My heart is still fragile from the last love.  
I need space. 


 I am going through something these days and it deserves all my attention. 

I think he's radiant, and scattered.   

I want to be bathed in a beam of light.

Last night I was reminded that what you resist persists.

The brain chatter is slowing.

Testing the waters of limits and telling people what I need.

And have I mentioned the beautiful women from the temple burn?

Why dwell on the pain?

Funny things last night.

I love the unexpected ridiculousness.

He keeps thinking he has something to apologize for.

She said she saw my heart unfolding like a flower.

I get lost so quickly.

I wonder if we're all this lost in love?

Maybe I'm limiting myself by assuming she has nothing to offer me.

What do I believe?  

I believe it all, it's maddening. 

 And at the root of it, I believe in that which serves me.

I'm learning to become comfortable with larger and larger spiders.

What plane am I on and is there a name for it?

Big day of multi-pitch and hiking.

I am so grateful to have adventurous friends.

Hurt feelings,  It doesn't take much.

Sometimes I think I'm too much and I'll always be too much.

However, I am not interested in settling.

Perhaps I've just become more accepting of sadness.

The stakes have been raised and I wonder what true courage looks like.

Let the right action arise....

I'm finding myself drawn to a picture of a house, austere and mysterious.

Just because I can see the future doesn't mean I have to look.

Sometimes I can see

with my whole heart

each spicy and pungent layer

upon layer,

upon layer,

juicy with mystery.

and sometimes

all I can feel

is the pain prick

of onion juice in my eye

Pete said that people expect too much from me because I'm beautiful 
and that it's unfair.  

I felt kinda beautiful with my cat shield and sword last night.

Rain asked if it felt good to be with the bad boy.

It did.

Feeling a greater sense of distance, in a good way.

He is always with me though, it's absurd.

Never in a million years would I have guessed....

what an incredible character.

It's fun to play.

I approach most things in life with great caution, 

and a few with wild abandon.

What if all I have to do is orchestrate a moment?


I'm enjoying the freedom I feel from being scattered and sustained from all angles.

Time confounds me lately, it's so liquid.

 Also, I seem to be attracting sad people.

I crave to share the darkness.

Rain is another wonderful child who is so strong and such a fighter.

He is eloquent and intelligent and always one step ahead of himself.

I hope to be intentional about this.

Steve held me as I cried and laughed.

Then I lay alone and felt my heart unfurl.

Quiet at last.

Good girl.

Reinventing the Wheel

I've been rediscovering my love of photography lately.  I'm relishing in the anticipation and sense of mystery that come from shooting film.  I'm loving the simplicity and inconsequence of using such a toy camera.  And most of all, I'm deeply content to capture moments of stillness.  xx

BIG flakes

Recently, I overheard the following wise equation:

"intention x discomfort = change."

Long wet chilly snowfall walks, please be the harbinger of change.  Thank you. xo

distractions beyond distractions

So I caved and went on a date with someone so totally wrong for me.  I'm eagerly anticipating the next.  xx

I believe

that we can learn a lot from cats

the things we own

Broken favorite only orcas island bowl. tear.

look how far we've come

Today I became hysterical over peeps dioramas.  It felt like a revelation.  


xo 

today

I found him under the breakfast table.  

source of life

Still enamored.  xx