many moons

since I last posted, and what of it?

Reading over my words here, I wonder at how far I've come.

I have my home on wheels, my nesting place, my anchor. I am making plans for the coming year, travel art and craft. Plans for mexico and black rock city and new corners of this big beautiful planet.

(Life expands forth)

And India? Can I be moving farther and closer at the same time?

This is the circular nature of things.

What a TRIP

xo

The hawks are making joyful glides

And I am back in Kashmir. It is a month later and much warmer, though still cold enough for poncho and fire pot. I am staying on the island with two of my most favorite people here, a Finnish snowball and a Kashmiri prince. I am having two long shirts fashioned by the tailor, and a new green poncho. There is a strike and a curfew and all business have been closed for a week. 

More importantly, I am becoming aware of this pattern Hillary spoke of. It is a computer virus of the brain which multiplies at the slightest attempt to shut it down and is the source of much frustration. It has to do with jealousy, desire, and men who call me darling. I have realized that no one can take it away for me, I must bin it myself. 

As wise Ali baba told me, this is all my space. How do I want to use it?

xo

this place

xo

for manifesting!

a home

a project

health

these are the things I want so so much.

xo

Portland

Almost a week of photos and friends. xo

last night

I celebrated Rain's semester of brilliance by drinking bloody marys and slapping strangers who quickly became friends. xo

to be honest

I'm a bit of a mess right now, as evidenced by my extreme drowsiness, weepiness and other things. It's mostly circumstantial, and a good opportunity for SOMETHING, I am sure. (I promise). xo

Contemplating

Another long drive just to get some space, mostly emotional. xo

the little things

Blue suede shoes and polka dot pants. Today I was duped by anthropologies mirrors and found my new favorite amazing boots. xo

here in seattle

I am working on my list, things to do before my adventure to India. And my mind is already speculating on what comes after that.....

xo

I like to think

That I would be happy living in a tipi in the woods. And then I remember dampness, and the darkness of a northwest winter. 

It gets cold tomorrow.

xo

coyote

has played his first big trick, rendering me sheepish and contrite. Sheesh.

xo

source?

I am beginning to notice a the following pattern; about once a year around springtime, I injure myself doing something totally mundane and ordinary. Examples? Holding a baby. A relaxed day hike. And most recently? SLEEPING. On what was supposed to be a ski and yoga filled visit to Bend, I awoke one morning with a badly swollen wrist and no good reason. Four days later and I am still popping Advil like candy, indulging in self-pity and wondering, what is the deal? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? And when will it get better? I can't even clip my fingernails without crying. Sheesh. 

Also, for the past 3 nights I have dreamed about cats, specifically sick cats who need my help. Too many sick kitties and I can't help them all. 

Meow.

xo

soul fodder

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years. 

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning and start dancing while you're still half-asleep. 

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses. 

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple. 

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds and one extrasolar planet. 

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!" 

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate." 

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans. 

May you actually kiss the earth now and then. 

May you find many good excuses to say, as physicist Niels Bohr once did, "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true." 
* 
The preceding oracle comes from Rob's book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. 

Thinking I am almost due for foreign desserts in strange lands...

whirlwind

The service was lovely, the relatives overwhelming and Grampy dressed up like a mobster for some much needed laughs. I spent time exploring old treasures in the new house, and looking at photos. 

Also?

A dream about one of Grammy's hand painted palekh boxes; I was allowed to choose one and I picked green.

It was filled with broken glass and blood.

Analyze THAT.

xo

depravity

never sounded so sweet. xo

new boots

green legs.

xo

what is next?

I wonder. Trying to keep my schedule devoid of plans is trying me these days. I didn't realize how tightly I cling to future ventures. So where does that leave me? With what is NOW!! xo

creepy sheep

need I say more?

(they were actually quite sweet)

xo

I have given myself permission

to be listless. What a word! (I doubt it will last long). xo