many moons

since I last posted, and what of it?

Reading over my words here, I wonder at how far I've come.

I have my home on wheels, my nesting place, my anchor. I am making plans for the coming year, travel art and craft. Plans for mexico and black rock city and new corners of this big beautiful planet.

(Life expands forth)

And India? Can I be moving farther and closer at the same time?

This is the circular nature of things.

What a TRIP

xo

sometimes

Someone snaps a picture of me when I am not looking. It is a rare treat :) This year at burning man I cried daily, if not more. I think I need the release to feel good. xo

burning man was....

And now I am home, until I fly away again south. It's so hard to let the magic go. xo

this phase

Is marked by Dawson's Creek, super Mario world and excitement for burning man.  I am SO very excited to come home. xo

notes

Shamandome

Steam bath

Monkey chanting

EFT

Human mandala?

(just some ideas)

xo

today

I will find a pair of dust goggles

I have returned

From a timely and unexpected mini burning man, smaller and more accessible and ripe with magic moments.

YES!

xo

Playa vision

A dusty lens through which everyone appears their best: decorated, lovely, and full of beans. xo

a lesson

I shelled some peas while everyone else went to a rad party. Then things took an unexpectedly whimsical turn. xo

arcade game

I feel like I'm in a giant pinball machine, bouncing between the northwest towns, becoming lodged in unexpected nooks (some more comfortable than others) before being jounced around and projected across state to circus music and bright lights. I failed to limit my home-stay to three days, or do daily spiritual cleanses and have become congested. I found reunions, rites of passage and happened upon an early morning branding session, from which I remain faintly singed with envy. Also? Elijah lay beneath a daily swell of winter crows, immersed in their secret mutterings (yes pleasepleaseplease). Until then, hello portlandia, warm arms and rest. xo

manifest!

I've been journaling steadily since junior high, which is about 17 years. Seventeen years, whoa! I still remember how that exalting jolt of freedom felt as I realized I could write... ANYTHING I WANTED. And so I wrote and wrote and wrote.

After trekking a hefty stack out to the temple last year, I gained a new appreciation for the weight of my words. I started a ceremony of burning those pages, but not before a final sift-through, a hopeful unearthing of patterns and gems amongst the soot.

Sometime several months ago I stopped keeping a journal completely. And this was a new kind of freedom; an experiment in honing my tools and clearing the field for new growth. It's been fun to see what themes have persisted, for I still write (about dreams and synchronicities and gratefuls, recipes and notes on the exquisite mundane).

And today I've got manifesting on the brain. For perhaps my favorite part of reading through old words has been watching my lists of wants turn into reality (and always in the most roundabout and unexpected of ways!)

So? In the spirit of putting it out there, here are some rough wants, options perhaps, for the next 6 months.

1. Work trade on a farm
2. A short term nanny gig
3. A cozily temporary cabin, loft, shack, tipi or room
4. Photography show
5. Learn carpentry or cobb house construction.
6. A reason and the means to go to India
7. Regular yoga and meditation
8. Visits with creatures
9. Sustainable candida freedom

I would gleefully live in an old barn

or in a tipsy tower

xo

playing the waiting game

While fending off worry and anger with yoga and wandering. Oh how I hate this game! xo

missing

this, in a good way. xo

journey

Frolicked and wandered with a bipolar bear in the dust. AND THEN we ate our way through San Fran. xo

destruction phase

Coincides with the start of burning man. This should be interesting...... oh so excited! xo

wire wire fire

I 'm packing today, and paying more than the usual attention to what I bring. More importantly, what am I brave enough to leave behind? HMMMMMMMMMMMM.. ox

bear totem

Caution, Healing, Leadership

The power of the Bear totem
is the power of introspection.
The answers to all our questions
lie within us.
Each of us has the capacity to quiet the mind,
enter the silence and know. 

Just as the bear hibernates during the winter,
people with a Bear totem will be quieter
during the winter months.  But they
must awaken in the spring and seek
whatever opportunities are around them.

When you have a Bear totem,
you are being guided to a leadership role.
You must be fearless in defending your beliefs.

The Bear also encourages you to exercise
your abilities as a natural healer.

I found a huge stuffed polar bear at my favorite thrift shop, ripe for costume possibilities. Perhaps a bit of bear medicine for burning man? xo

secret pocket

I've spent the cool morning hours sewing a secret pocket into my fuzzy jacket. What secrets will I keep there, I wonder?

Burning man approaches.... I am relishing in the anticipation and catching myself in worn habits and attempts at control before I delve too deep. What surprises will this year bring? I'm thoroughly enjoying the element of mystery and lack of planning or predicting.  Forget radical self-reliance, I need to practice vulnerability. xo

the pendulum effect

Yet another trip to seattle and portland, reunions with good friends, and some late night river gorge ledge creeping. The second impromptu camping trip in the past 2 weeks, just off exit 41; I got to be a woodland sprite for another day, barefooted and wild-eyed with a song in my ears. Played with getting off-balance and bouldering over cold water. Metaphors of raging waterfalls and deep river pools. And to think I used to worry about going off the deep end! Struggling a bit with sugar, transition, balancing friendships and feeling some anxiety about the impending move. Been noticing this pendulum swinging fast fast fast these days, whew! Countdown to burning man..... xxx  

some inspiration

by unknown

by anna glynn

For tattoos, new beginnings, creative works and flight.

Been feeling inundated with information and choice these days. Is this a particular burden of my generation, or a constant in the human condition throughout time? I wonder about that allure of travel, the opposing drives to root and lift off, and how fear and desire hold hands across the fence. Hm.

Also? 

I got my ticket.... 

! 

xo