perfection

in a snack.

pattern and texture

I've been reading up on Chinese medicine since my acupuncture session. Perhaps all this yin dampening I crave is but a projection of my spleen health. Food for thought. xo

breakfast

Salt is the secret to good oatmeal. Did you know?

xo

I am trying to learn

The value of going without. xo

last night

We sat around sipping toddies and talking. We speculated on where we should go and what we should do, and who else we could call. We wondered if any bars served eggnog. I sewed a patch onto my bag and we attempted a sidewalk stencil. We didn't go anywhere. And this is why I adore winter in the northwest. xo

afternoon light

And my new toy, a rose quartz dowsing pendulum. It reminds me of the star I made for dear Mr. Thomas when I was 12. The shape is called a merkaba, and I don't quite understand it.


So there you have it, yet another pretty tool for my toybox, a direct line from the wisdom of my body to the outside world that quite bypasses the hamster wheel.


xo

om namah shivaya

Day 1 of 40 trying out japa mala mantra meditation. Still buzzing from the pig roast night, running into my wonderful vipassana roommate (very serendipitous indeed), among other shenanigans. It was simply one of those nights that blasts expectations out of the water and reaffirms convictions such as.... "what goes around comes around". I've also been re-reading Eat Pray Love which has got me wanting to experiment with more-fun less-austere meditation styles. The mantra I chose rings true on my palate, I look forward to honoring my divine self in the coming weeks! xo

home

Long rainy driving days with turkey breaks and I'm back in Oregon. I'm kind of in love with slow dampening of the pacific northwest. There's something sustaining about the dark wet winters where I can snuggle away deep with my thoughts and wants until sunlight breaks through. I think I depend on these periods of hibernation for synthesis and cohesion within. I'm happy to see the yin winter approach, and autumn is my champion of change.

Also, I am SO glad to be back in the land of well-crafted espresso drinks. I ordered a tea though.

xo

wild boar liver

and rattlesnake dinners.

Been playing at farm life for the past few days, minus most of the hard work. Thankful for beautiful plants, welcoming fiends and frank discussions. And fruit ninja! xo

The Way

I was rereading the intro the Tao te Ching (Stephen Mitchell... it's my favorite translation) and had a moment of clarity the other day. It's the guidance without strict guidelines that really separates Taoism from any other path of spirituality or religion, and I like that! How unnatural is rigidity anyways? No wonder Taoism has always appealed to me, it's all about flow and flexibility and acceptance. ah. xo

Day 2

I was feeling pretty grumpy and discouraged yesterday, and then I remembered to be thankful. My body is talking to me! These symptoms are but compelling catalysts for change. I know what I have to do to feel my best..... bring on the kale :)  xo

day 1 (again)

Sluggish, itchy and foggy, I'm restarting the candida un-diet. I don't like word "diet" because, a) it implies that weight loss is the goal and, b) it suggests that it will end. The real goal is to eat sustainably, right? I am so incredibly bored of wrestling with sugar cravings and feeling conflicted about social situations and travel. I'm bored of this pattern of ups and downs. How is it that once I begin to feel better, I throw it all away for a passing sensation? BORING!! In my perfect world we would share salad greens from one big bowl and devour mangoes with wild abandon until the juice drips down our chins. And there would be slow lorises, red pandas and double rainbows for eternity. Yeah. xo

home sweet home

Back in Bend after two weeks of being here and there, and indulging to the max. A declaration has been made; the post-burning man binge is officially over! I'm looking forward to being in one place for the time being and relearning how to take care of myself. Some hopes for the next few weeks include:

begin a manifestation journal
write down dreams
palm session
sell things
make things
see friends
eat kimchi
rejuvenate
be alone
stretch
move
laugh

that should be doable, right? right. xo

aha!

Post yoga revelation about the relationship between these old house photos, my quest for structure, and the beauty of a strong foundation. How am building my self-house? xo

victrola

compromise of rooibos

the body: a vessel of transformation

I've been reading a book about Tibetan healing, where art, spirituality, medicine and intuition are all used to promote the healing process.  The training to become a Tibetan doctor begins with 14 years of preliminary education and an additional 5-12 years of rigorous studies, including 2 years dedicated to the artwork alone!  Tibetan medicine regards the body as the source of all learning and healing, and diseases as valuable opportunities to gain insight.  As the Buddha declared, "Our body is precious.  It is a vehicle of awakening."

To mark the end date of my cleanse, I celebrated my own healing with sun, colored pencils, friends in capes, en vogue and this refreshingly delicious cocktail: cheap beer and kombucha.  Cheers to summer! xo

excess led to a creative surge

from The Language Change by Kevin Hooyman

Gratitude for much snacking, consequential insomnia and 3am inspiration. Also, dreams about summer skiing. xo

kombucha tutorial

When I first moved to oregon I was totally enamored with kombucha.  It was one of those expensive habits that I tend to pick up, and at $4 for a bottle of that irresistably fizzy tonic, it was not sustainable.  So I started brewing my own.  It's super easy, cheap, and brings me back to to elementary science class.  This is how I do it.

What you need: 

gallon sized wide mouth glass jar

filtered water

tea

plain sugar

already brewed kombucha

a scoby

STEP 1:

Bring about a quart of your filtered water to a boil.  Once heated, stir in 1 cup of sugar until it dissolves.  You'll want to turn the heat off at this point so the sugar doesn't caramelize.  Then add 7-8 tea bags and steep for about 15 minutes.  You can use any variety of true tea (camellia sinensis), of which black, white, green and oolong are all varieties.  I usually experiment with a combination of white and green teas, as they are less processed and retain more nutrients.  It's fun to play around with this, as each tea will give a slightly different flavor to the final product.

STEP 2:

For the next step, you'll need a scoby.  This stands for "symbiotic culture of yeast and bacteria", also referred to as "the mother" or a sometimes a "mushroom".  This living organism is what turns your sweet tea into kombucha, as the yeast and bacteria feed off the sugar and tea and produce all the good healthy fizzy stuff like B vitamins and probiotics.  You can get a scoby from craigslist, or from a friend who brews kombucha.  Or you can grow your own over a few weeks from a store bought bottle of kombucha.

To do this, leave the half-full bottle un-capped, covered with a cloth, in a dark place until it grows a scoby on the surface.  The wonderful thing about brewing kombucha, is with each batch, a new baby scoby is produced, so they are usually pretty easy to find!  Mine is named Stella and was given to me by an artist friend of a friend.

mother and baby from my last batch

You'll also need about 8-10 ounces of already brewed kombucha.  If this is your first time brewing, buy a bottle from a health food store.  Make sure it is unflavored, raw and unpasturized (such as GT brand).  I always make sure to save some from the last batch I made.  

STEP 3:

Pour the brewed sweet tea into your *clean* gallon jar.  Then add another few quarts of your cold filtered water.  It is important to bring the liquid down to room temperature, as heat can kill your scoby.  Then add your 8-10 ounces of kombucha, and your scoby.  Sometimes the scoby will look brown on one side and white on the other, if so put it brown side down.  Cover with a cloth and stash your jar somewhere dark and out of the way. 

STEP 4:

Wait!  Depending on the climate, your tea will take 1-5 weeks to ferment ( hotter temps lead to faster fermentation). I really like the jars with spouts because they're easy to sample from.  Your kombucha is done whenever it tastes good to you, it will get tangier and fizzier with time.  When you like the taste, you can bottle or jar and refrigerate your tea.  Use glass, not plastic.  This is also a good time to experiment with fruit juices, or added flavors.  Some of my favorite flavors are ginger and pear..... but it's also delicious as is!  

    Enjoy your new symbiotic relationship. Fini!  xo

Day 30: cardamom resurgence

A month into this cleanse, and I have settled into a routine of sprouts and kale, quinoa and amaranth, and eggs and fish.  I feel better, and I am still craving sugar.  Now I crave carrots instead of cookies: progress not perfection, right?  I've discovered that a red pepper can be eaten like an apple and even an excess of sugar snaps makes me feel sick and guilty.  I've been drinking yerba mate instead of coffee and have replaced beer nights out with game nights in.  My arm joints are speaking loud and clear.  And, I am once again a joyful slave to cardamom in my teacup.  xo    

old growth new growth

 stacks and rows

tomatillo bean sprout wakame breakfast

Today I have been processing a year high stack of journals, last spring to this spring and everything in between.  I kind of feel like an archaeologist unearthing secrets to my own life.  xo