Thursday, April 28, 2011

"small sacrifices must be made"

On an autumn trip to Seattle last year, I found myself languidly disoriented in georgetown, unable to find what I was looking for.  I did find the museum of flight, and decided to take a peek.  Inside the great hanger, I spent hours mesmerized by planes airborn on delicate bat wings, saucy women pioneers in flight and astronaut video simulations.

Months later I find myself coming back to the dying words of a man: Otto Lilienthal.

Born in Germany in 1848, Otto studied the flight of birds as a child, attempting to fly with home made wings.  He later studied engineering and became world-known for his successful heavier-than air glider flights.  He died of a broken spine after falling from a glider in 1896, uttering these final words: "Opfer müssen gebracht werden."

On another note, perhaps it is not sugar, but fat which is the culprit? According to this theory; fat blocks insulin receptors and prevents sugar from being carried quickly out of the bloodstream. There it lingers, feeding those yeasties. A sad truth, that I may have to say goodbye to an avocado a day.  xo        
avocados by craig stephens

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

the hardest part is over

In this first week of candida cleansing I have felt weak, frustrated, hungry, anxious, drained, itchy, sleepy, spacey and dizzy.  I feel a world better, craving soy cardamom lattes, taking epsom baths, drinking aloe and eating raw garlic and oil pulling.  I've eaten with intention and full attention.  My senses seem heightened.  Rain's pizza smelled atrocious and I can taste the chemicals in the tap water.  Every day is a new chance to listen to those internal stirrings. My hope is that they will become deafening and unavoidable.   xo

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

day 7

easter egg fortune

aloe lemon juice

rainy gumboot day, I'm off to run errands and rid myself of some stuff!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

night 5

Rainbow leg warmers over shoes with built in fans.  Slothful monitor lizards in abandoned buildings.  A whirling dervish black cat.  Reunions, a certain someone.... confusion and wanting.  Scattered, I missed the bus in the rain and they came back for me.  We rode away on bicycles, crossing the streetlight lit night.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

day 5

Broke fast with nettle, kale, arugula and gratuitous ginger garlic lemon dressing.  I am intoxicated, energized.  Full Of Beans.  

Also, this small beast kills me daily.


sigh, xxxx

Friday, April 22, 2011

day 4

woke with upper back pain.
another roadside attraction
energy burst around noon (cleaned house)
cat nap with kittens
sporadic hunger pangs
ginger tea
sex and the city

aurora borealis?


Thursday, April 21, 2011


1. short visit to a magical island
2. found camera charger
3. beginning this cleanse
4. crossing zion
5. nettle harvesting

It's day 3 of this broth-turned-water fast. I'm feeling drained, dizzy, headachy, experiencing insomnia and perseveration, questioning decisions and doubting willpower and if I dig deep, I find refreshment.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

itchiness, fogginess, be gone.

Candida Cleanse: 7 weeks, kicking off with a spartan 7 day broth fast.
I am not looking forward to the fast, or denying myself fruit and alcohol.
I am looking forward to feeling better.


ps.  i'll start next week.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


In my sleep I found the home I had been looking for.  I was surprised to find it was something I'd always had.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

the long and short of it

As of tomorrow I am jobless. sigh.  It's been a sad an exciting week since the news broke, rich with celebration and remorse.  Wondering how to let these reckless kids go, coming back to paper cranes and simplicity.  It feels too soon.  xo