I am in line for an initiation ceremony where I will be buried alive for an unknown amount of time. I climb into the casket which is buried 6 feet below, but I do not want them to fill the hole with dirt, I am afraid of having a panic attack. I have recently been scuba diving and was rusty about using the air hose. So I am in the casket and it's dark and suffocating, I climb out to go pee and face some disapproving looks, like I am not truly committing to the process. I rationalize that I am making an okay decision, being completely buried just isn't safe. I convince myself that merely being in the closed casket in the dark is a good enough initiation. I sheepishly get back in and blow all the candles out to prove that I am committing, I am.
Am I?
xo
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