keywords

for the coming year

van plans
cleanse
practice
complete
income
sustain
balance
wilderness
explore more
collaborate
art
write

many moons

since I last posted, and what of it?

Reading over my words here, I wonder at how far I've come.

I have my home on wheels, my nesting place, my anchor. I am making plans for the coming year, travel art and craft. Plans for mexico and black rock city and new corners of this big beautiful planet.

(Life expands forth)

And India? Can I be moving farther and closer at the same time?

This is the circular nature of things.

What a TRIP

xo

dreamspaces

I am climbing a familiar mountain, I have been here before.  This mountain exists only in dreamtime, but I have climbed it many times, I am well versed in it's trails.  I can see the rise of snow approaching, I know the difficult part is just around the corner.  We stop for the night and Ali is there, he makes some phone calls and anticipates a delay. I am annoyed, I want to continue climbing. I want to arrive at the cold and snowy peak.

I am in an underground network of wet tunnels with my camera.  There is a set of metal stairs and a tiger coming down. I try and photograph the tiger without being seen, and then retreat to safety down a long tube. The tiger senses me and begins to run and so do I. 

Dream

I am in line for an initiation ceremony where I will be buried alive for an unknown amount of time. I climb into the casket which is buried 6 feet below, but I do not want them to fill the hole with dirt, I am afraid of having a panic attack. I have recently been scuba diving and was rusty about using the air hose. So I am in the casket and it's dark and suffocating, I climb out to go pee and face some disapproving looks, like I am not truly committing to the process. I rationalize that I am making an okay decision, being completely buried just isn't safe. I convince myself that merely being in the closed casket in the dark is a good enough initiation. I sheepishly get back in and blow all the candles out to prove that I am committing, I am. 

Am I?

xo

perfection

in a snack.

Classic

I started smoking cigarettes a little bit when I was in India, mostly just as a social thing and for the novelty of an easy buzz. For once I wanted to join in the process, the sharing, the scrounging, the excuse for a breather. Plus, cigarettes are cheap and sexy. I decided to see what it was all about.

And then I came to Nepal where I began eyeing the death sticks from afar, waffling on if I should get a pack, guilt tripping myself into abstaining. Well I finally bought some and smoked two. The first one gave me a buzz and the second one made me downright queasy, dizzy and sick as a dog. And now I can't even look at the damn pack. Go figure. 

xo

31

Three years ago today, while camping with my parents I had my first lucid dream.

Two years ago I was vipassana meditating 10 hours a day and hadn't spoken in a week.

Last year I was acid tripping in a wicker dragon with a tiny fairy child, naked singing hallelujah with strangers dripping sauna sweat.

This year I am alone but not lonely across the globe in Nepal. 

Summer birthdays are the best.

xo